Receiving feedback, especially when it's negative, can trigger a variety of responses based on our perspectives and attitudes. Using the APPLES mnemonic, we can summarize how individuals might interpret and respond to such feedback.
APPLES stands for:
- Actions
- Political
- Puzzled
- Logic
- Emotional
- Superstitious.
Actions
You’ll start working on improving your
listening.
Example
After receiving the feedback "You don't listen," you decide to attend a workshop on active listening skills and practice summarizing what others say during conversations to ensure you've understood them correctly.
Political
You say to yourself, “He doesn’t like me, and that is why he is giving this feedback.”
Example
When
you hear "You don't listen," you think, "This person has never
liked me, and this feedback is just another way of trying to undermine
me."
Puzzled
You say to yourself, “I always thought I’m a
great listener, I wonder why I got this feedback.”
Example
Upon
hearing "You don't listen," you feel confused and reflect, "I
always make an effort to listen attentively. I need to understand why they feel
this way."
Logic
You analyze the feedback objectively and try to
find evidence or specific instances that could support or refute it.
Example
You
hear "You don't listen," and you respond by thinking, "Let me
recall our recent conversations and see if there were times when I might have
missed important points."
Emotional
React based on your feelings, which may
include hurt, anger, or defensiveness.
Example
When
someone tells you "You don't listen," you feel hurt and respond,
"That’s not fair! I always try to pay attention to what you say."
Superstitious
You attribute the feedback to some
unrelated belief or superstition.
Example
After
being told "You don't listen," you think, "It must be because I
didn’t wear my lucky charm today. I’ll make sure to wear it next time to avoid
negative feedback."
Understanding the different ways people can interpret and
respond to feedback can help us navigate our own reactions and improve our
interactions with others. Whether we choose to take constructive actions,
analyze the feedback logically, or even feel puzzled by it, each response
provides an opportunity for growth and better communication. Recognizing these
varied perspectives can also foster empathy and more effective dialogue in our
personal and professional relationships.
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