The Art of Expression: Assertive, Aggressive, and Passive Techniques

Besides self consideration, considering others, putting yourself in other person shoes, which is called empathy, will help to enhance your interpersonal skills which inturn help you to influence and persuade others. Assertive, aggressive and passive behavior will help us to understand how well we balance these considerations. Imagine, while at work you get a call from the hospital that your friend has met with an accident. You've to get there as soon as possible. So, you ask your manager to grant leave to attend your friend but your manager denies saying, "Project deadline is important and it is not possible to grant leave to you". In this situation, you would respond in three different ways.

Assertive

When you manager doesn't grant leave to you, you would talk to him saying, "I really do understand how important is our project deadline but you must also understand that my friend is hospitalized and I have to be there to assist him because he doesn't have anybody known to him in this town. So, quickly let us resolve this issue in such a way that both of us win." Assertive behavior is, "I'm Right and You are Right".Assertive communication is, "I'm OK, you're OK" attitude, compared to aggressive, "I'm OK, you're not OK", and passive, "I'm not OK, you're OK"

Here is a list of assertive statements with examples:
You are right and I have different opinion in this regard
I will definitely agree with your opinions but you should also understand how I feel about it.
We both are right
I respect your decision, and please right mine as well
I will do what you say but you should do what I say
Being Assertive is about Persuasion and Empathy and to Focus on Intent

Aggressive

You will fight with your manager saying, "You have no human emotions and you don't understand my situation. You are not fit to be a leader because you don't understand your team's problems. Whether you grant leave or not, I'm going to leave now because my friend is more important than project deadlines at this moment." Aggressive behavior is, "I'm right, you're wrong".

Aggressive Communication is, "I'm right, you're wrong" apposed to assertive, "I'm right, you're right" and passive, "I'm wrong, you're right"

Aggressive Statements Examples:

Please do what I say
I want everybody to agree with my views
This is how it will be done and any counter arguments on this issue will not be entertained
I'm clear about my decisions and it will not be changed for any reason
I'm least bothered about others' views and I'm firm on my beliefs.
Examples of Aggressive Communication
When you want others to follow what you say without considering their point of view.

Passive

You would simply obey your manager and go back to work by relaxing your personal problems. Passive behavior is, "I'm wrong and you are right".

Passive language is about, "I'm wrong, you're right" compared to assertive, "I'm right, you're right" and aggressive, "I'm right, you're wrong" behavior. List of passive phrases, sentences and statements with examples include:

I will do whatever you say
You are my boss and I will listen to you
I have a different view on this but it is OK, I will do what you say
You are better than me in many aspects
I'm not able to understand the way you understand the concepts.

You will be able to handle interpersonal conflicts more effectively. Interpersonal skills is one of the basic life skills and verbal communication is a vital element. Note that none of these, assertive, aggressive or passive behavior is either right or wrong. Depending on various social situations, each behavior, words, phrases or statements will take significance. You can use any of the above statements to build interesting human relationships. Infact, it will add value to both, your intrapersonal as well as interpersonal behavior skills.