The Art of Saying, "No": Genuine Excuses using HAPPINESS? Mnemonic

Making genuine excuses comes from your heart. Others will know whether these excuses are authentic. Some of the common legitimate excuses includes health reasons, ethics, principles, abiding to law, providing religious beliefs, or taking time to say, "No" politely and in a nice way.

Besides having a good questioning skills and effective listening ability, using right words and phrases that suit the context of any conversation is yet another basics of verbal communications skills that can be learned consciously. Perhaps, both at work and at home, conversations become comfortable and interesting when a person uses right degree of verbal and non-verbal communication skills to express his/her emotions, feeling and thoughts. Saying "No" and making good excuses is one such art that requires both the skills.

Learn different ways to say "No" and make excuses using HAPPINESS? Mnemonic device:

1. Health
2. Another person
3. Personalized
4. Pause
5. If statements
6. No
7. Ethics, Laws
8. Save it for later
9. S-Yes
10. S-Seek (Question)

Give Genuine Health Reasons

Though there are different ways to say "No", giving health reasons to show the inability of accepting the task is one of the sure ways to make any situation agreeable. However, many consider this as an effective technique of saying "No" ONLY when it is genuine and honest. 

Example

An example of business phone call between a job seeker and that interviewer where the job seeker denies the offer by using health reasons: Interviewer: "Would you like to take this job offer?"

Job seeker: "No, as your organization is located in a cold geographic area and my health doesn't allow me work in such cold conditions. In fact, few years back I changed my job just because of this health reason. Anyway, thank you for the offer"

Another Person's Involvement

Many decisions are made keeping other people's acknowledgements and consents in mind. It could be your husband, wife, mother, father, son or daughter. And this serve as reasonably a good excuse to make in many social situations.

Example

A customer rejects a sales offer by making an excuse that brings his wife's interest into the conversation.
"Salesperson: I'm sure you will love this product. May I go ahead and take your order?"
"Customer: I appreciate your time explaining about the product, but I can place an order only after consulting my wife."

Others play different roles in our life, and sometimes even decisions are made keeping other person's interests and needs in mind. One of the reasons people use to say "No" is because their close ones may have differences in opinions.

Example

A sample statement from a kid who says "No" to a teacher as the kid is concerned about his/her parents' opinion
Teacher: "Would you like to enroll for the school vacation?"
Child: "No, as my parents may want me to stay home this holiday."

Pause is Silence or Other Non-verbal Gestures

During a business meeting, one of the office executives rejected the offer of job transfer by merely looking at the manager politely, shrugging the shoulders and moving both of his eyebrows upwards. No words said. However, subtle non-verbal gestures may be perceived differently by each individual and the pauses may also lead to confusion and puzzlement from the other person. This technique is contextual in nature.

Personalized Excuses

Being Different: 

It is a human right to be different and think out of box as long as the person retains the comfort of others. Many people use this as a top excuse to show their disagreement. 

Example, 

An example of interview situation where the interviewee uses this excuse technique to convince the interviewer:
Interviewer: "I could see that you have been working in many fields of interest for the last ten years. Your resume says that you worked in restaurants and,within few months, you quit and started your own business and so on. I feel you are inconsistent."
Interviewee: "Even my friends and family members have the same opinion. But I look at it in a different perspective. I love being different, I love to take calculative risks in life." 

Stating your Leisure or Hobby

People engage in a hobby without any reasons, proofs, answers and questions. Many actions in 

life can be listed under a hobby as it does not require any explanations. 

Example

The husband makes an excuse for being tight fisted when it comes to spending money:
Wife: "Why do you take an account of very penny that you spend for family?"
Husband: "Saving money is my hobby. I love to manage money in a creative manner."

Using 'If' Statements is one of the Ways to Say 'No': 

'If' statements are also called conditional statements. An "if" statement shows the other person's needs, preference, choices and alternatives.

Examples

• If the terms are favorable to both parties, we can proceed with the deal.
• If we can find a compromise on the pricing, we might be able to close the deal.
• If you can provide additional guarantees, we may be more inclined to agree.
• If we see progress in certain areas, we're open to revisiting the terms.
• If there's room for flexibility on your end, we're willing to negotiate further.
• If the quality of the product matches our expectations, we're prepared to commit.
• If we can clarify some uncertainties, it will help us make a decision.
• If certain conditions are met, we're prepared to explore this opportunity further.

Just Say 'No', but Politely

Providing no reasons, evidences, facts, details and opinions is the secret of this technique. Phrases and words like 'No'(politely with a friendly tone of voice), I am sorry but 'No', 'Let me be clear, I don't need it' are quite commonly used by people while using this simple yet effective technique.

Ethics and Law

Whether an Indian or an Italian, an American or an African, a British or a Bangladeshi, culture plays an important role in defining a human social behavior, action and speech. One can use this as a indisputable excuse to evade challenging situations. 

For example 

A girl makes an excuse to a boy who proposes his love.

"I respect your feelings and emotions towards me. However, I am obligated to certain cultural restrictions. Our culture respects arranged marriage as per the parents' wish. I'm sure you would respect my beliefs too."

Never Say "No" When You can Say (s)'Yes'

Both in business and in personal life situations, saying a 'Yes' can ACTUALLY be beneficial to both the parties rather saying "No". People carefully think, ask questions, analyze the situation and go for a 'Yes' instead of 'No'.

Questions to Ask Yourself Before Saying an "Yes":

•  Will someone benefit if I say "Yes"?
•  How long will it take me to work if I say "Yes"?
•  Do I have to do anything if I say "Yes"?
•  I am prepared to handle the situation if I say "Yes"?

Save Time, Respond Later

Taking time before saying no has two advantages: 1) It allows the other person to think, reflect, research and respond to the issue. 2) You can plan and prepare before acting to the situation.

Example

Here is an example conversation where a presenter end the presentation by taking time:

Audience: "Can you ensure that we will all get additional notes and training materials on the concept that you discussed just now?"
Presenter: "I'm sorry, I may not be able to provide additional notes. However, give me some time, and I will see whether I can help you. I will call you tomorrow about this."

Question or Ask Why (Seek)

Before saying, "No", ask why? that way, you will able to listen to the other so that you can a decision whether to agree or disagree.

The art of saying "No" or making best excuses is summarized using a simple mnemonic, HAPPINESS?, and It takes only few minutes to memorize it, but will stay in the permanent memory once willfully memorized.